Dating somebody suffering fear of abandonment 100 percent billionaires dating site
For instance, despite the pain of being the Other Woman, it still seemed ‘safer’ to bet on the fantasy of us being together, despite knowing deep down that it was futile.As a result, I wasn’t risking myself like I would have to with someone who was actually available.Despite fear of abandonment though, you go ahead and attempt to forge relationships because you’re seeking validation–confirmation that something is true.You, on one hand, attempt to challenge your beliefs and confirm that you’re good enough, but on the other, you’re inadvertently seeking proof that your fear of abandonment is true.If you never really believed someone would stay or that you could hold onto them, you wouldn’t give yourself to the fullest anyway even if you convinced yourself that you were. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.Unless you address your fear of abandonment, you will either live in fear that they’re going to leave, killing the relationship with insecurity anyway, choose people that are likely to leave and end up acting in sync with the drama with it ending in them leaving or, you will sabotage relationships that don’t look like they’re going to meet your prophecy because you don’t feel worthy of them. Have you chosen partners that offer the least likely prospect for commitment as a ‘safe bet’? When I thought they were ‘too into me’, I’d act difficult because it was ‘safer’–I could manage down their expectations and protect myself from too much disappointment.The strange thing: Until I realised that I had a penchant for Mr Unavailables and discovered my own emotional unavailability and contradictory behaviour that was counterproductive to forging a healthy, committed relationship, I didn’t consciously believe that I had abandonment issues.
It’s also about the fear of the consequences of conflict because you will be afraid that conflict will result in you realising your fear of abandonment.
We cannot say why some people who experienced these unfortunate circumstances enjoy adult relationships without fearing abandonment, and why others are preoccupied with worry.
We do know that in the vast majority of cases, however, therapy can help the fearful person overcome this difficulty.
To be fair, if you’ve always felt and thought in a certain way, it’s your normal.
In my book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl as well as here on the blog, I’ve stressed that we subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) choose people that reflect what we believe about love, relationships, and ourselves. When we have negative beliefs (treated as true even if they’re not), we act in accordance with those beliefs and end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that ends up confirming the very things that we believe.